The fat fairy visiteth
(Yes, I've just discovered another item of clothing that no longer fits.)
Look, I'm fairly sure that it's a good thing to be a (2) fairy.
After all, with that predisposition one genetically receives a near-limitless supply of snappy comebacks, an infallible sense of which colours work well together, an entertaining flair for self-dramatisation*, an understanding that any dress-up party requires feathers or glitter or both, and the ability to sing all the verses of any Abba song no matter how obscure.
Then there are certain things that are better when they are (1) fat, such as wallets, cigars and salary raises.
But (1) + (2) = a most unfortunate circumstance. I may never have sex again. Without paying for it, I mean. Because it's also mostly true that my brethren who know how to make souffles are body fascists, as I believe I am, deep down. Yes, deep down, under all that newly acquired bulk.
Though I must say I am encouraged by my totally babely friend G.A., who now looks amazing thanks to Body For Life or similar. Hey! Someone's brought Turkish delight!
* This post is certainly not an example of that kind of behaviour.
Look, I'm fairly sure that it's a good thing to be a (2) fairy.
After all, with that predisposition one genetically receives a near-limitless supply of snappy comebacks, an infallible sense of which colours work well together, an entertaining flair for self-dramatisation*, an understanding that any dress-up party requires feathers or glitter or both, and the ability to sing all the verses of any Abba song no matter how obscure.
Then there are certain things that are better when they are (1) fat, such as wallets, cigars and salary raises.
But (1) + (2) = a most unfortunate circumstance. I may never have sex again. Without paying for it, I mean. Because it's also mostly true that my brethren who know how to make souffles are body fascists, as I believe I am, deep down. Yes, deep down, under all that newly acquired bulk.
Though I must say I am encouraged by my totally babely friend G.A., who now looks amazing thanks to Body For Life or similar. Hey! Someone's brought Turkish delight!
* This post is certainly not an example of that kind of behaviour.
posted by vivaldifan | 12:39 PM
3 Comments:
Good grief, what is this? Can it be BLOGSPAM? Is nothing sacred?
(Lest you think I take blogging seriously, that's *obviously* a rhetorical question.)
Hang on, I have colour sense, glitter sense and definitely self-dramatisation sense. I'm a gay man trapped in a woman's body!
Readers, Scroobious's lifelong love affair with Things Sparkly and general willingness to go all-out for costume parties does in fact point to her having an Inner Moffie.
I fear, however, that Scroobious does not in fact know all the words to 'Summer Night City', and clearly has not been hanging out enough with boys who understand colour palettes.
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